Tak Usah Gaun, Tapi..

Angin malam berhembus ke timur dengan irama yang tak teratur, kadang lambat kadang tergesa-gesa. Semaunya. Suaranya menjadi syahdu ketika meyeret daun anggur kering di tepi jalan kecil depan rumah. Semakin lama suara itu terdengar menjauh dan disusul dengan desiran angin yang kini melintas kisi-kisi pagar. Malam yang tenang. Aku tak sempat menengok apakah rembulan juga tersenyum malam ini.

Kaldera yang tak lagi mau menggubris siaran televisi dari modifikasi monitor komputer, menurut dia televisi ini tak menarik baik bentuk, gambar dan suaranya. Dia lebih asyik bermain dengan bonekanya. Setumpuk boneka yang tak satupun dibeli dari kantong ayahnya. Mungkin ayahnya pelit. Kaldera masih kangen dengan televisi lamanya, dia masih suka menanyakan kemana televisi itu berada. Televisi yang digondol maling beberapa waktu lalu tak membuat aku dan ibunya merasa kehilangan. Ada rasa bahagia yang diam-diam kami syukuri atas penggondolan itu. Demikianlah bahagia, bisa saja datang dengan sangat sederhana bahkan dari musibah. Melihat Kaldera yang tak suka lagi menonton televisi sudah membuatku bahagia, bahagia yang bisa kuceritakan kepada siapa saja. Ada anak 3 tahun yang tak suka menonton televisi. Sedikit aneh tapi aku bahagia melihatnya. (ya maklum karena yang ditonton cuma monitor kecil).

Kaldera harus memiliki kesibukan, dia tak boleh nganggur kecuali sedang tidur. Sebagai anak yang memiliki energi berlimpah ruah kami kesulitan untuk memberi Kaldera kesibukan. Kaldera pernah masuk PAUD sekali dan itu yang terakhir. Temannya menyanyi ikut bernyanyi, temannya bersorak ikut bersorak semua kegiatan yang mengandalkan banyak fisik Kaldera antusias. Namun ketika berhitung, mewarnai, menempel, Kaldera lari keluar cari makan saat ada teriakan dari kelas dia masuk kembali, kemudian ada kegiatan yang tak dia suka lari keluar lagi. Begitu seterusnya hingga kelas usai. Kaldera tak diberi kesempatan masuk PAUD lagi untuk sementara. (kejam!).

Beberapa minggu lalu ada les karate di perumahan tempat kami tinggal, kami seakan menemukan jalan lebar pernuh lampu terang untuk memberi kesibukan kepada Kaldera di akhir pekan. Kaldera ikut les karate, baru sampai pemanasan dia bilang tak suka gayanya, lalu pergi. Pernah ada les menari, Kaldera antusias ikut lenggak-lenggok penuh gaya lalu melihat temannya menggunakan sampur sedang dia tidak, marah, mutung tak mau ikut tari-tari katanya.

Aku kadang berhayal punya pekarangan yang luas seperti rumah eyangnya di kampung. Kupagar memutar lalu kusiapkan lapangan untuknya disitu, kulepas Kaldera agar bermain sepuasnya, sesuka dia. Masuk lumpur, mandi pasir, tangkap ikan, cacing, belalang dan aneka serangga lainnya. Tak peduli kulitnya menggelap, rambut terbakar matahari. Tapi, harga tanah membuat hayalan itu cukup menjadi hayalan saja. Cukup, tak lebih.

Malam ini sudah menjelang larut. Beberapa menit lagi sudah berganti hari. Kaldera belum tidur, selalu begitu jika dia tak banyak menyalurkan tenaga di siang hari. Anak ini punya seribu alasan jika disuruh tidur.

“Mataku belum bisa merem ayah..” Katanya sambil berusaha memberi pengertian kepadaku.
Atau,
“Aku kan belum minum susu, masa bobo?”.
Atau,
“Aduh, aku belum sikat gigi..”. Alasannya malam ini.
“Bukankah barusan kau sikat gigi?”. Tanyaku.
“Tapi kan aku habis minum susu lagi..”. Jawabnya dengan wajah datar.

Di tengah perdebatan kecil kami, Kaldera memberi syarat jika dia sudi untuk tidur asal menonton video via youtube di ponselku. Dia ingin menonton Frozen satu lagu saja katanya. Kuturuti, lagu pertama usai, masih ingin lagu kedua, sampai lima lagu. Aku tertipu mentah-mentah kali ini. Video yang dia tonton menggugah memorinya tentang gaun berkilau-kilau yang gagal dia miliki. Gaun enam ratus ribu itu. Dengan sangat hati-hati aku menyusun kalimat untuk menjelaskan kepadanya mengapa ayahnya tak membelikan gaun itu. Bahkan lebih hati-hati dari jawabanku kepada dosen penguji saat ujian skripsi beberapa tahun silam. Belum usai aku menjelaskan, Kaldera sudah luluh, setuju tak minta gaun itu lagi. Tapi…

“Aku sukaknya jam Letigo………”

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